A New Year’s Prayer
by

A New Year’s Prayer

I wrote this for a dear friend, but I would like to  share this with my readers also:

I pray that you receive many blessings throughout the upcoming year–that you never feel pain more than you see healing; that you never sense hurt more than you feel wrapped in the love of God, family and friends; that you never feel lost without seeing the light and finding the hand to guide you. When you question, may you hear God’s answers. When you sense the deepest joys God has to offer, may you never forget the source or the sweet lingering memory.

I faced many challenges during the last three months. Someone asked me how I experienced God during this time. Here’s my answer:

God draws hearts in my hand; He becomes the flow of running water washing mud and dirt from those same hands. He is the laughter that sweeps through my day when I need it most and the lullaby that calms my night. He is the reason for a smile and the warmth that sweetens the hug of a friend. He is in the echo of footprints down a long hospital hall. He is the coolness in the glass of sweet tea offered by a caring soul. He is the power of the songs in your car when your car is the only place you can worship. He is the unconditional love of a dog, the heart of a child, the purr of a comforting cat. He is in the silence at the end of a prayer. He is the protector of our souls, the creator of our talents and the sower of our hopes and dreams.

IMG_1203

by

To the tween and teen girls “chasing” boys

I’m a Mom. I spend a lot of time waiting for my daughters at school, church and other youth events. I see many of you in the halls or getting off the buses or coming into the room. I can see it in some of your eyes and hear it in your conversations. You are “chasing” some boy and seem almost obsessed with the pursuit. I’ll agree with you about two things I hear you say. First, you and your friends think he is cute. We can all see that. Second, you will make some of the girls jealous who are pursuing the same goals in life: date and date someone who is popular enough to make others wish they were in your shoes. But past that, I can’t agree with you on much else.

Here’s what I wish I could tell you:

  • You are missing so much of life around you because you are focused on a boy and only on a boy. You are missing the songs being played around you, the games with the group, the speakers sharing some really great thoughts, and the fun times with the girls. You are missing quiet moments without your social media. You are missing a chance to find out who you are—not who you could be if you dated the guy you are currently chasing.
  • You are missing out on trusting God. God tells you throughout Scripture that He loves you and has a plan for you that includes many blessings, much love, and joy. Find out who you are in God’s eyes while you are young. When you know who you are in God’s eyes, you can trust Him to bring the right people into your life. You will make sweet, wonderful friends (guys and girls). While making friends, you will eventually also find a person who is the perfect one for you. This person will not make you feel whole—God already did that for you. This person will make you feel special and loved and safe and happy. You won’t have to worry about what outfit you are wearing or how your hair looks. You won’t have to text often or post questionable photos to get his attention.
  • You are worth more than the stress of the pursuit. You are not incomplete without another human. You have gifts and talents to share with this crazy world. Share them. Laugh with friends. Quit competing with the other girls around you. Life is not a competition to be won or lost. Get off social media and just hang out with friends. Your friends will be by your side forever if you build solid relationships. You actually become a stronger person when you help build each other up through encouragement and kindness.

This is a challenging time in your life. It can be so hard to be a young woman in today’s world. There are so many voices competing to be heard by you. So many images flash before your eyes every day through TV, movies, YouTube, and all of the social media sites. But try starting and ending each day with asking God to keep the image of who you were created to be before your eyes. You don’t have to create an image for yourself—just grow into the image God created in you. It’s not easy, but it brings lots of unexpected blessings.

by

Nothing is Wasted

I have been listening over and over again to Jason Gray’s song “Nothing is Wasted.” It touched my heart a few weeks ago, and it has been my worship song ever since. “Nothing is wasted in the hands of our Redeemer.”

What a beautiful picture this song paints of God using everything—everything! The tears we cry seed the ground for joy to grow. Deepest wounds allow beauty to bloom. Glory shines from the ruins, from the ashes. God’s grace and love transform every single thing into something that can shine for His glory when we turn it over to Him.

Oh, turn it over to Him? We have a hard time with that, don’t we? I know I do sometimes. I tend to want to hang on to things (problems, challenges, confusion, tasks) so I can handle them in a way I think is best. I trust myself to handle things, so maybe I should just keep control. Less fear and worry that way. If I am holding on tightly, I know what is happening.

Sometimes I get it right. I can make something somewhat beautiful at times through my own creative efforts. I can find ways to be happy. That’s what I used to tell myself. Then I gave control of something personal to God when I ran out of options. I was amazed.

What I had called satisfactory before was nothing compared to the beauty God created from the mess. What I considered happiness was nothing compared to the joy I found in God. But more than that, I realized how many times I waste things. I waste tears. I don’t shed tears for people or situations that break God’s heart. And when I do, I don’t turn those tears over to God to seek His plan. I don’t ask if I am part of the solution. I waste money. I waste resources. I waste gifts.

I waste time when I forget to turn my days over to God. I often set my schedule, then give a few leftover minutes to God. What would happen if I prayed over my calendar before I wrote anything on it? What would happen if I asked co-workers to do the same? What would our days look like if we seriously asked if we were making the best use of our time for God’s glory? I think based on Scripture that God would give us plenty of time for rest and for fun fellowship with others along with other work to spread His grace and love. But our joy would be deeper, and no minute would be wasted in the hands of our Redeemer.

And no person would be forgotten by God. Don’t we sometimes discount the life of a person, forgetting to see gifts present? I have been the “forgotten one” before. It hurts. So this song reminds me that my life is not wasted when I place it in the hands of my Redeemer. God can use my deepest pains to bring beauty into my life. He can use my tears and your tears to bring joy. He can use my minutes for His glory. He can used the person I walked past or gave up on to change the world. He can use everything we give back to Him to transform this world—our communities—our homes—our lives into places of deep beauty and joy. May we stop holding on so tightly…that is my prayer…hold on so tightly only to God and watch what happens next.

by

Wanna be a Hero?

I keep seeing this question pop up in some ads that are going around in my area. The ads are implying that you can be a child’s hero by helping out with the company’s summer program. Many of my friend’s posted these ads, and I almost did just to go along with the trend in my area. But I just can’t do it.

Do I wanna be a hero? No, I don’t. Why would I say no to that? Because Jesus would never had called Himself a hero, and Jesus asked me to be like Him in all I say and all I do and all I post. I don’t want to be a hero. I want to be a servant. I want to change the world through love and through drawing people to Jesus, through seeking to be set apart through His holiness rather than looking just like the world and its hate and jagged edges and demanding conformity and excuses and justifications.

Someone yesterday paid me the highest compliment—they called me compassionate. That is what I want to be. I don’t care how hard the journey is or how much others separate me because I won’t follow their lead. I don’t want to be a hero.

God, let me serve those who are in need. Help me stand strong when others need a helping hand. Help me be your hands and feet. Let me speak for those without a voice. Let me take the road less travelled and be the change that I want to see in this world. May I carry Your light to drive out the darkness. May I carry Your love to conquer hate. May I carry Your peace to conquer anger. May I speak Your words to soothe hurting souls. May I be like You, my Savior, my Guide, my Strength, my Hope, my Vision.

by

Church and the Call to Holiness

As an imperfect human, I struggle at times with the call to holiness. We, as Christians, are being sanctified through the sacrifice of Christ (Hebrews 10:14). I Peter (along with many other Scriptures), reminds us that as those following Christ we have a call to holy conduct while on this earth. We are called in Scripture to be set apart, to be holy while still on this earth. We are not just waiting for a heavenly change. We are living the reality of holiness here.

At times, however, I don’t live the reality of being separated for God’s honor and service. I want to have things go my way rather than God’s. Often it is because I am being impatient, wanting an answer quicker than God is providing one. At other times, I struggle because God’s plan doesn’t seem logical to me. I can’t imagine how His answer or path could possibly lead to success. Then I realize that I am defining success by human (earthly) standards.

Seeking holiness means listening to God through His Word and letting Him truly be the author of the story of my life. John 14:17 reminds us that the Holy Spirit dwells within us and will guide and teach us. II Timothy 3:16 tells us that the Scriptures are breathed out by God and should be our guide. In Hebrews 1:1-2, we are reminded that God spoke to us through His Son. We have the necessary answers for our life if we choose to hear them.

This same call for holiness goes out to churches, not just individuals. And the same temptations are present for churches and those in leadership positions. At times, a church may try to take or stop an action, wanting things to go “their way” or a particular leader’s way rather than prayerfully seeking a vision from God or hearing God’s vision through someone He chose to speak and work through. At times we may prefer the comfortable rather than the unknown. We may want the status quo rather than the distinction of stepping out to be set apart.

Sometimes, as a church, we also tend to define holiness by our own standards rather than God’s. All through Scripture, God has shown us that He is a God of surprises. When His people start to feel comfortable and “in charge” in our own routines, His call moves His people into the unexpected, into a new place or a new routine, or with unexpected people in our midst.

Our call to holiness means we must be willing, as individuals and a church, to let God be in charge. Let God upset our routines. Let God speak to us through the unexpected voices—the hesitant Moses, the youthful David, the forgiven David, the changed Paul, the fishermen, the women at the well, the tax collectors, the children, the lepers, the widow with only a mite. Remember all of those in Scripture whom He called to leave the expected, the comfortable, and the familiar. He asks us to trust Him as He unsettles us with plans that only He could dream of.

by

My child and church

I believe in free play for kids. I think every child needs unstructured time to develop their imaginations and relax their minds and bodies. Kids need time away from electronics. They need playgrounds and building blocks and clay and dirt piles and blank paper and paint and cardboard and drums and glue and glitter. I have girls, and we needed lots of glitter.

I also know, however, that preschoolers, and really even elementary-aged children, cannot be put in a church room and told to just relax, hang out and enjoy themselves without some type of structure and supervision. They need a little direction and a little programming to keep them safe and headed in a good direction. I have worked with kids long enough to know that left alone, the creative kids will glue something to the walls eventually or add pictures to the boring books that were unfortunate enough to get published without pictures. The young engineers will try to build a cathedral out of chairs only to have it topple on them or a friend. The child who had a bad day will hit the child who is smiling too much just to even out the bad feelings. The perfectionist child will try to make rules for everyone and eventually get hit or get lofted to the top of the chair cathedral and left there (I know this because I raised a rule maker, not intentionally).

Churches also need programming with a purpose instead of just free time alone. If we are reaching out to kids and bringing them into our buildings, we need them to know the basics: Jesus loves them and we love them. They were created as a child of God and given talents that they can use for the glory of God. They can serve others with their gifts and talents. They can change lives.

But how do develop children’s programming that reaches lots of children and helps them begin to understand their individual gifts and talents? We often don’t have the resources (money or volunteers or staffing) to plan too many types of programs for kids, especially during the school year. Adults are already often terrified to enter the children’s department for fear of being asked to volunteer. If we add additional programming, we may cause people to hide from us long term.

I am thinking about this because some children feel alienated from the programs we traditionally offer. I think of my oldest child when we were in a church that highlighted their junior camp for older elementary students. She stayed away from church for weeks before and after the camp because literally every other child but her went. She was not ready for a long stay away from home. She felt as if she was doing something wrong because she must have been created differently and God forgot to give her the gene that made her want to go to camp. I am not sorry I allowed her to stay home from camp. That’s not to say the church should not offer the camp or encourage the others to go. I think we just need to understand that even wonderful programs are not for everyone.

My other daughter was the same way about traditional children’s choirs. She hated being told she had to sit for 30 to 45 minutes and learn a song. It was torture for her. She is like me—no musical talent. I even lip sync from my seat in the congregation! I let her quit choir. She felt guilty as if she was failing God when others approached her about her choice. But God has given her other wonderful talents. She has the gift of laughter and making people smile even in tough situations. She loves animals and cares for the ones in need. She mentors younger children. She draws beautifully. I am not sorry I let her quit choir. Again, I don’t want to see choirs stopped. My oldest daughter is a musician who is going to major in music. Love it that we offer choirs and bands in churches!

So what is my point here? I keep thinking about a request I had from my church as an adult. It asked me to serve in the areas of the church where my passions and talents were. They asked us to identify needs in the church and the community that we may be able to fill using the gifts God gave us. Trust me, they do not want this writer to serve on the finance committee! Numbers scare me. And they do not want my best friend who is an accountant to serve on the committee writing the brochures. Words scare her. As a church, we asked adults to find what they do best and use that passion and talent to serve.

If we are doing that with adults, why are we still trying to fit kids into one box so many times? Why are we disappointed with the kid who won’t sing or won’t go to camp? Why do we pressure a child to be in the Christmas pageant when it clearly does not match up with his or her gifts and talents God has given that child? Why does the active kid have to hear the Bible story from a chair instead of from the floor where he can wiggle a little but still listen? God will use his energy for great things one day unless we convince him that he has no place in church unless he changes and learns to sit in the wooden chairs.

God’s gifts start showing up early in life. Offer children as many opportunities as you can to learn and grow. But I hope we don’t heap guilt on a child that just doesn’t fit into our favorite program at church. We need singers and the audience; we need artists and art enthusiasts; we need builders and those who worship in the buildings.

by

He was not a bully!

Bullying has made the headlines across our nation over the past few years. The news reports have brought us the tragic stories of teens who were bullied and then either took their own lives or retaliated against others. Schools have been confronted with the challenge of addressing the issues surrounding bullying. Parents have had to talk to their kids about the tough issues that can bring deep emotional scars for those who are bullied and those who witness it.

I am a mother who has talked to my children about how to respond to anyone who bullies them and how to respond to and stand with those being bullied. I hope my children never bully another person, and I hope they work to stop any bullying they witness. But what do I do when adults I am around bully others? How do I speak out when acquaintances, even those I worship with, become spiteful in their speech and online posts? I wrestle with that issue.

This post is addressed to my fellow Christians who may not even realize that they are doing what we ask our youth not to do. And this post is written to me that I may always remember to post only respectful, loving, encouraging, positive posts that will help “love people into the Kingdom” rather than alienate them from me.

Jesus was not a bully. He was not weak–he was a strong man who stood bravely for the truth that he proclaimed. He never backed down from truth and never gave in to the pressures of this world. But he never bullied anyone. He never called them names, joked about them behind their backs, gossiped about them on his journeys with disciples or drew cartoons of them in the dirt to make “his people” laugh at “others.” He never even separated the world into “his kind” and “others.” He disagreed with certain beliefs and practices. He broke certain traditions he disagreed with. But he never bullied anyone with unkind speech or actions.

I saw a post recently of a poster someone created using the image of popular cartoon character. The words had the character making fun of people on welfare, particularly food stamps. The post offended me deeply. I am not on food stamps, but I know some people who are. They are kind, loving people who do not deserve a post like that being aimed at them. So you may say, “Well, I am aiming that at the other people who abuse the system.”

Would Jesus have done that? No. He shared a meal with all people–he invited all people to his table. He would have listened. He would have loved. He walked with sinners–and I know that I, too, am a sinner. How can I ask him to love me if I can’t love another person who is also a sinner?

I find no record in Scripture of Jesus making fun of any group of people–even those he disagreed with. He loved. He loved the tax collector even before the tax collector admitted that he cheated people. He loved the woman at the well even before she changed her ways. That woman was despised by the very people Jesus worshipped with. She carried the labels that made her an outcast. Jesus loved her. Can you imagine Jesus laughing at a cartoon that was aimed at a woman with five previous husbands and was now living with someone out of wedlock? I can’t. He talked lovingly to her even though many others would have joked about her.

We are being bullies when we post jokes aimed at any individual or groups of people. We are doing what we ask teens not to. If a teen knew a classmate was on food stamps and had hung that cartoon I saw on the classmate’s locker, we would call that bullying. When we post it on social media as adults, we call it funny and say we are speaking up for our beliefs.

This post is not designed to bring up any political discussions about welfare programs or political programs to change them. If you turn it into that, you have missed the point. I am asking all of us to think about our words and actions carefully. Line them up with Jesus’ words and actions and see where we stand. I fall short most days. I admit that. That is why I pray and study Scripture and try to hold myself accountable. So I, therefore, am not judging any of you who read this and wonder if your posts would have also hurt me.

I am just asking that we work to stop the negativity and the hurtful words we so easily toss around on the Internet in the name of humor. Jesus was not a bully. Let’s not be as adults, either.

by

Did I … ?

“Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love?’ These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will be many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.” (Henri Nouwen)

So many times, I hear people say, “But I can’t do more.” That’s because we are picturing “more” in terms of some type of job or production with hours of planning followed by physically straining and emotionally draining tasks that take us away from families or careers. Oh, how little we trust God’s love. God is not our drill sergeant. God is not a bullying boss who uses us to work in cruel conditions for little compensation. God is love.

Yes, some people are called to ministry and that requires a lifetime of planning and work and giving and serving. Some people are called to coordinate the entire VBS project. Some people are called to plan the preschool curriculum. But they are called in love and blessed by love in return. God equips those whom He calls so that they may face the tasks while being held up by His strength and patience and love and joy.

So what about the rest of us? Can we say we can’t do more? Look back at the opening quote. We are called to love. We are called to forgive. We are called to smile at the stressed workers at the fast food counter and find something nice to say to them. We are called to invite the grieving neighbor over for a meal. We are called to visit the young, scared mother in the hospital as she sits by her child’s bedside. We are called to write a note of encouragement to someone or call and pray with someone over the phone. We are called to give the ministry team a break from time to time and fill in where needed. We are called to bring food for the youth group. We are called to be the helper in a children’s class. We are called to many things.

But God calls us to these moments with the assurance that He will equip us with the resources and strength needed. And we will know that we are bringing the love of God to others, while being loved by God as we serve.

The miracle of God is that He loves us during all of the times that we do nothing. He loves us while we are making a thousand excuses for why we can’t do something. If we open our eyes to the needs of those around us, doing something will not necessarily require lots of time or energy. God will show us ways that we can show more love every single day.

At the times in my life when I merely “got through the day” thinking I could do no more, I missed out on the chance to walk with God and allow Him to bring His joy and peace and love to me more fully. On the days when I ask God to show me how to serve Him, He blesses me richly with His presence and His love and joy.

by

How have I grown today?

Do you ask yourself daily if you have grown emotionally or spiritually in the preceding 24 hours? I didn’t ask myself this question very often in the past. I don’t know if it was because I was subconsciously so egotistical that I thought I didn’t need to grow, or if it was because I had become too complacent over the years, not seeing or being concerned about the deficiencies in my life. Either way, I didn’t check myself to see if I was still growing at all. But I really do want to be a life-long learner.

Growing means more than learning a fact. Memorizing information does not mean I am growing. Neither does watching the news or reading a book. Growing, to me, means I have taken the information and assessed what I am going to do with it.

If I hear new information, what am I going to do with that information? Can apply it to my life? Am I taking new information and becoming more compassionate, more just or more loving? Am I taking new thoughts and seeing the world more through God’s eyes than through my own weak and often unfocused eyesight? Am I taking ideas from a book and letting them teach me to understand life from a perspective other than my own narrow experience?

Have I learned to write better, paint better or teach better? Have I learned a healthier approach to life? Can I cook a new meal to share with family and friends? Only reading the recipe does not help me grow. Learning about new cooking techniques or herbs and then using them does.

Have I prayed a new prayer? Have I gained a new insight? Have I listened more closely to the silent cries of the world? Have I reached out because of a new found courage? Have I moved forward after a stalled period in my life? Have I taken one more step out of my grief or anger? Have I found one more thing to be thankful for? Have I learned how to better express my thanks?

Tough questions can come with a price. We may not like the answers, or we may realize that we haven’t grown in much too long. No matter our age, learning and growing can be a process we claim daily.

by

Friends and mentors matter

A very short story to remind us all that friends and mentors matter: 

The right words…

Kate sat on the park bench and stared out across the grass damp with the morning dew. It was only 7:15 in the morning, but she wanted to give up on the day already. How could she keep going at this pace? She was so far behind in everything. In 15 minutes she needed to wake her daughters to begin the day, but even that seemed like an impossible task. As she stood to leave, she heard the bell tone on her cell phone announce an incoming text.

“Praying for you this morning. Hope you are feeling okay. I remembered that today might be hard for you. Text me later and tell me how everything is going.”

How did her friend and mentor always have such perfect timing with her encouraging words?  As Kate finished her walk, she texted back. “Worried about today. Talking to my lawyer in a couple of hours. Nervous about answering all of the questions. Also worried about the medical bills. I am behind on most of them.”

“Let’s look over the bills together. Maybe I can help you with setting up some payment plans. And call me right before your appointment so we can pray together.”

Kate knew that they would do more than pray on the phone. She knew her friend would tell her how strong she was and what courage it took to do what she was doing. Kate knew her friend would tell her she was a great Mom and encourage her to hang in there. Then they would pray, and Kate would feel stronger. Kate knew her friend had already prayed her though many difficult days. How did she always have the right words?

As she started breakfast, she stopped to write a quick note to her friend and mentor. The words weren’t poetic or powerful, but with the simplicity of the note Kate thanked the person who had changed her life the most.

“Thank you. I am different because of you. I feel more confident in my parenting skills. I better understand my finances. I try new adventures in life because you encouraged me past my fear and anxiety. I don’t give up on projects I had given up on in the past. I stay focused more because you hold me accountable. I feel stronger because you pray me through. I feel loved and cared about. I feel more willing to learn. I can more easily face my own mistakes. I feel real. You matter to me, and I wanted you to know it.”

She tucked the note inside of an envelope to mail later. With a renewed determination, she continued her morning routine knowing she could survive the day.