family

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Birth and Birthdays

It’s my birthday week! Yes, I was a December baby. For some people, December birthdays even closer to Christmas means that your special day gets blended in with the holiday. Some people feel a bit cheated out of their special moment, while others say it means at least their family has come into town for the holiday and can say “happy birthday” while they are there. 

So, what do you do for your birthday? Does it feel like a special day to you? I’ve had a great week celebrating my birthday this year. My kids and I had a nice dinner out. We decorated the Christmas tree after dinner. I also had dinner the night before and ate lettuce wraps. They were delicious—one of my favorite appetizers. I had another wonderful birthday lunch midweek with a friend and celebrated with another friend yesterday. I had the best spinach quiche with cranberry salad and poppy seed bread. Celebrating with people I love and enjoy being around has been fun. 

If you look up the history of birthday celebrations, you can get several different opinions on when the tradition began. It seems that around the late 1800s, middle-class Americans started celebrating birthdays in their families. We have some journals and letters that include details about a cake being baked or families cooking a special dinner. Friends were invited to festivities at times. Now, birthday celebrations can be quite extravagant, especially for children. You hear of parents renting out a gym or a special location and pay someone to cater the event and entertain the kids. 

My new interest has been researching how birthdays are celebrated around the world. I’m not going to talk about that today because I’m just now getting into the research. I don’t want to give out any information that I haven’t verified yet. 

I have looked up other historical examples of birthdays being celebrated. Many historians say that Egyptians were the first ones to start the birthday party tradition. Supposedly, though, they weren’t celebrating their actual physical birth. When a Pharoah was crowned, they became a god to their people. Their “birthday” then was a spiritual birth recognizing their new life as a god. Other religious groups also talk about being “born again,” but this rebirth is available to their members, not just a leader. The denominations of the Anabaptist, Moravian, Methodist, Quaker, Baptist, Plymouth Brethren and Pentecostal Churches along with all other evangelical Christian denominations have the doctrine of being born again as one of their core beliefs. Just as with the Pharaohs of Egypt, this is a spiritual rebirth. 

Many denominations also have “coming of age” celebrations. Jewish boys and girls celebrate their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs at age 13 and 12 in order to demonstrate their commitment to their faith  Rumspringa marks the time when youth in the Amish community turn 16 and are able to enjoy unsupervised weekends away from family. In many parts of Central and South America, young girls celebrate their Quinceanera when they turn 15 years old. American youth celebrate their Sweet 16 birthdays. The Apache Tribe’s coming of age ceremony happens when a young Apache girl hits puberty, in celebration of her transition to womanhood.

Thinking about birthdays and births and rebirths made me think about all of the ways we change in life. I hear people compliment other people and say, “Wow, you haven’t changed at all since high school or college.” Their intention is to comment on our looks and imply that we still have our youthful features. 

I’m certainly glad I’ve changed since both high school and college! Sure, I’m greying now and have a few wrinkles popping up, but I’m not worried about that part of aging. What I am thankful for is the emotional and intellectual growth we all go through if we are lifelong learners. I look back on my life and see so many ways I have changed and matured. 

I’ve learned better communication skills. I grew up in a family that didn’t communicate emotions in a healthy way. I learned from others to either stuff your emotions inside of you or allow your emotions to take over and cause you to explode in anger at times. Regrets come with both of those choices. 

I’ve learned to be more open to diversity. I didn’t grow up thinking about the rights of others. I didn’t grow up thinking about others at all…what someone’s needs might be, what their hopes might be, what their life might be like. I didn’t study other cultures until my social anthropology classes in college. Honestly, I loved those classes so much that I wish I had chosen that as a major. Those classes were the first time that I opened my eyes to the world as a whole and thought about my global community. 

I’ve learned how to love and respect myself as I learned to love and respect others. I didn’t grow up liking myself at all. I didn’t care about my life. I didn’t even picture myself living beyond the age of 18 or 21. I just did whatever I needed to do to exist in the moment. I tried to do what was expected of me. I got married to a very abusive person when I was 21. We were engaged when I was 20. I thought he was right when he called me names and ignored my needs or wants. I thought I deserved everything negative that came my way. It took me a long time to understand that I didn’t have to let him define me. 

I’ve learned a lot about love and healing. I’ve learned about social justice and fighting for the equality of all people. I’ve learned how to listen to others. I’ve learned about grieving. I’ve learned about joy. I’ve learned more about forgiveness.

If we are lifelong learners and if we examine our lives and grow, we will see times when we change. Maybe we should celebrate these new birth moments in our lives. We should celebrate when we courageously discover who we are and live authentically. We should celebrate when we work to get through a challenging time and arrive fairly safely on the other side of the challenge. We should acknowledge moments of success and moments of healing. Birth of our self and who we are comes in many different moments. 

Celebrate who you are. You are loved. 

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Stay-at-Home Activities For Adults and Kids

This post will be a little outside of the norm for me. However, I wanted to share some fun websites that we used when I homeschooled my kids. I will also add a couple of podcast links. I hope some of these will help us all stay positive while we are in our homes waiting for the pandemic to pass. Remember what I always say in my podcast: be a lifelong learner. Find some ways to learn something new, read something you may not have normally read, or explore a subject you don’t remember much about from school.

Websites for All Ages

  • The PBS Learning Media site has a lot of pages to explore. They offer something for a variety of ages.  Click here to explore their site.
  • I love the Smithsonian site. Click here to explore their pages. The Smithsonian Learning Lab is also a fun site to explore.
  • STEM Rising, created by the Department of Energy, has sections for students, teachers, and the general public. “STEM Rising is our initiative to inspire, educate, and spark an upwards trajectory to lifelong success in STEM through sharing the Department’s National Labs, National Nuclear Security Administration, and program office’s programs, resources, competitions, events, internship opportunities and more.” Click here to view their site.
  • The US Patent and Trademark Office also has a fun site that contains information for a variety of ages, including adults. Begin here to learn about what they have to offer.
  • Want to take your thoughts even higher? Explore Space.com and skywatch or catch up with NASA through some new videos.
  • National Geographics educational pages bring excitement into a classroom or home.
  • I also enjoy the Biokids website. This site, run by the University of Michigan, lets you explore many species and have fun at the same time.
  • Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) also has information and games to help us learn and have fun. This site is geared toward children, but it is fun to explore with them.
  • Indigenous Mexico is a website that shares the research of John P. Schmal. Schmal is a historian and genealogist who specializes in the genealogical research and Indigenous history of many of the Mexican states.
  • The Metropolitan Opera will be streaming productions at no charge while they are closed.
  • NASA offers several online image galleries.
  • Digital History is a fascinating site that contains primary sources on United States, Mexican American, and Native American history, and slavery; and essays on the history of ethnicity and immigration, film, private life, and science and technology. These are just a few of the options for you to explore.
  • Do History is a site that helps you piece together the past by looking at fragments that have survived. The site was created by the Film Study Center at Harvard University.
  • The San Diego Zoo has a really fun website to explore. It’s great for young kids and for older ones.
  • You can take a virtual tour of Yellowstone National Park.
  • You can also take a virtual tour of the Great Wall of China.
  • Chrome Music Lab is a website that makes learning music more accessible through fun, hands-on experiments.
  • Cleveland Inner City Ballet is launching a free Virtual Online Ballet Instruction Program.

Websites for Younger Children

  • Scholastic has set up a learn-from-home website.
  • PBS Kids has a variety of games and learning activities.
  • Starfall has a variety of activities for kindergarten through third grade.
  • Squiggle Park has a section for 3 to eight-year-olds and a section for ages nine to 15.
  • Prodigy motivates 1st to 8th grade students to learn and practice math.

Museums with Online Galleries

(not a complete list)

Fun Podcasts for Lifelong Learners

(And All Who Like a Good Story)

Look to See Me

Stuff You Missed in History Class

Wow in the World

Stuff You Should Know

Brains On

Storynory (Stories for kids, but fun for anyone)

Some Interesting Book Lists to Consider

Have fun, lifelong learners! Stay calm and stay positive.

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When Pencils Move: A Short Story for Mothers

I found an older short story of mine and thought I would share it here: 

While Pencils Move

               It’s that time of day again. It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. The laundry smells fresh from the scent of my fabric softener I used this morning. A warm spinach and feta cheese aroma lingers in the kitchen from our pizza we completely devoured. The cats have settled into their comfy spots for an afternoon siesta. My children are stretched out in the floor in front of me. One has an open math book. The other one has her history book opened to a section on World War II. She is reading and taking notes.

               These moments are times I cherish. I look over my computer screen and watch my children learning and growing. I remember when their legs didn’t stretch out this far. I also remember when their homework involved mostly coloring or cutting and gluing. Now they think intensely as the wrinkle their brows over historical facts and mathematical fractions.

               I close my eyes for a moment and listen to the sounds of their pencils moving across their papers. I wait for this sound every weekday afternoon. To me it is a sound of togetherness and stillness. The sound of pencils moving across paper ties me to the memories of their earliest days of learning. I picture myself writing a letter on lined paper and asking them to copy my work. With wiggly lines, they began the assignment. We clapped when they completed the task.

               Now they don’t need me as much. They start and complete most tasks on their own. I am more of an observer and a motivator these days. Occasionally my children get stuck on a problem and call my name. I can tell when that is about to happen. First, one of the pencils stops moving across the paper. I glance in that direction, careful not to jump in too quickly. I watch the eyes and brows to see if tension rises or clarity pops in. If tension rises, soon I will hear, “Mom, can you help me for a minute.”  I move over and look at the problem. We chat for a minute about the question at hand. Then I hear, “OK, I’ve got it now.” That’s my cue to move back to my seat so the pencil can move freely across the paper again.

These moments never last long enough for me. I want to sit next to them for hours as they conquer the challenges before them. But all too soon I must move from the scene to start dinner or pay bills or take a phone call from a client. The mail waits to be opened. The flowers need watering. I need to check in with a friend and a few relatives who need a call. Sometimes the moment ends when one child gets restless and can’t sit any longer. They usually don’t admit that. Instead they provoke the other child into an argument so they can claim to be the victim and get a break.

But when I hear the sound of pencils moving across paper, I feel a sense of peace and hope. I feel secure about their futures for a moment. I can set aside my worries that arise each time I hear a news report about another mass shooting or teen who died while texting and driving. I can stop worrying about how I will pay for their college tuition. I relax and soak up the moment as we all sit in one room with our minds exploring new thoughts or new approaches to the past.

I hope when I am older, they return home for a visit and sit next to me with pencils in hand. I will ask them to jot down to-do lists or items I need from the store. They may need to write dates of appointments on my calendar for me. They will think I am old-fashioned for not putting it all on a computer. They may also think that the tasks are mundane. But as they write, I know that I will close my eyes and pictures all of our moments together when they were younger and I heard pencils moving across the paper.        

©Chris Pepple 2013 (This story may be forwarded or reproduced with credit given to Chris Pepple as author. This story may not be sold or edited by any other person other than the original author.)             

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A Sensory Sensitive Christmas

Christmas tree

Both of my children have always struggled with sensory issues. It’s a hard topic to talk about, even with people who care about you. It seems that our culture values the norm and wants everyone to fit into an easily understood category. When you don’t fit into the boxes created by others, however, life can be more stressful than it has to be. We often ignore our own needs to try to please others. We try to fit into the boxes so others are comfortable. But in doing so, we often neglect our own needs.

I often struggled with how to help my children “fit in” with the expectations of others. I tried to teach them how to handle the stresses that come with holidays and social events and expectations and busy schedules. Until recently, I didn’t realize that I was taking the wrong approach. I tried to help them fit into the preconstructed boxes that I thought we all had to fit into. I was raised to conform and please others. I’ve come a long way in unlearning that, however. Now I’m a box builder.

This year for Christmas, my children and I designed our own holiday. So far it has been the best Christmas we have ever had together. What was different? We left all expectations behind and sought out peace and joy. We packed our bags and headed to a quiet cabin with our dogs. We brought along a few Christmas gifts and some craft projects. I brought my writing pads and pens.

We have given ourselves the gift of quiet and the gift of taking care of our own needs. We came to a place where our senses wouldn’t be overwhelmed with noise and rushing and pressure to eat what others asked us to taste and laugh at what others considered funny. We haven’t had to smile and pretend to be happy. We are happy. This fits us. It heals us. It grounds us so we can go back and face our jobs and school schedules.

It’s so quiet here. I can see the sun glistening off of the ripples in the lake. I hear squirrels  playing in the trees near the cabin. This morning I watched deer watch me as I stepped out front to greet the day. I watched them parading through the woods for their own Christmas celebration. We dined on casseroles we created when we got hungry. We ate on our own schedule. The best part of day has been choosing our own activities–choosing what felt right for us. One child has napped and built with Legos. Another is trying to learn to needlepoint and has journaled a bit. I’ve enjoyed just watching them…reading some…writing some…being lazy with my dogs nearby. We strung popcorn and cranberries last night. We watched part of Christmas in Connecticut (an old movie that makes me laugh every time). We have honored our need for quiet and for stillness and for a time to let our senses rest.

This may sound like a horrible to Christmas to some of you. You may love your traditions and busy schedules and large gatherings. But for us, this has been a healing year, and we are ending it with our own path to Christmas peace and joy.

 

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Undocumented

Undocumented—

Throw that word away,

dear child, throw it away,

because that word will

never define you

or your gifts and talents,

your hopes,

your loves,

your fears,

and your life is

already documented…

your name is written

on the hearts

of those who

know you best

and call you

Beloved One

and a Creator

whispers your name

in the darkness

you journey through

and weeps when

you feel lost

and loves you

so much that your

story is woven into

all of our stories

and documented

in the history of

who we are

and you will

never be forgotten

because you

are forever

loved…

–Chris Pepple, 2018

www.chrispepple.com

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In that Moment

I wrote this poem in honor of the birth of someone special–the first grandchild of a wonderful friend.  I’m so thrilled for the family! I can still remember the first moments I held my children…

 

In That Moment

 

For one moment, my world stopped for you—

all of my worries slipped away

and thoughts of what must be done next

gave way to thoughts of this moment…

the moment you were first placed in my arms

and I held you

 and touched your tiny fingers

 and gazed at your toes

and looked deeply into your eyes

and knew that you

were now a part of who I am

and my love grew deeper

in that moment

as I knew I would

forever hold you

in my heart…

and no other thoughts

came to mind other than

my joy

in that moment…

my first memory

made with you.

                                       –Chris Pepple © 2018