I Am
hope
A Poem for All Who Feel Frozen in Grief
I have to remind myself that in my grief over losses of family and friends and in my hurt over the chaos and negativity in our nation, it’s ok for me to move slowly or stand still at times. I hold on to hope and seek light even though I feel stuck in the grief. On days when I feel stronger, I can take movements forward—maybe not even full steps on some days. I can find my strength, find hope, and remember love. I can both mourn and seek healing. I can both hurt and seek hope. I can both feel alone and seek love and comfort with others.
Frozen in Grief
A foggy mist rolls across the winter land
as the melting snow meets the moist air,
and I recognize the gloominess
of my own surroundings as my tears
meet the coldness of the losses of days past.
The confidence of time eludes me now
as I know that what my soul longs for
can slip away as does the melting snow
that covered all the autumn brownness
of the landscape.
In this haze of pain and uncertainty,
I cannot walk with the confidence I need
to believe that there is still enough time
to heal, to grow,
to change all that feels so broken.
I breathe in the stillness of the moment
and listen to the wrens and the cardinals,
the white-throated sparrow and the tufted titmouse
breaking into song as they emerge from the frozen land
to reclaim their place in life and announce their assurance
that tomorrow will be brighter just as our hope says it should.
But I have not moved from my place in the fogginess of grief and disbelief,
frozen in time as if those gone will return
and as if the wrongs of the world
will be made right if I only hold steady and wait
with my tears and fears as my companions.
But there is a price for inaction and silence and
our allowing ourselves to be defined only by the pain
that not only immobilizes us but also keeps us mired down
in the muck of life left behind after the storm.
I must step forward one small movement at a time
and sing a mournful song that will help me rediscover my voice
and once again find hope that glimpses of healing will be ahead
and glimmers of joy will come
and love will return
and peace will be what walks with us
as we move forward with grief wrapped with hope
and a song that joins the chorus of all who
lift their voices with the belief
that the time to break through the iciness
of sorrow and
all forms of pain that hold us down
and impede joy and attempt to break us
is now
We hold the keys of hope—
the small movements toward rediscovering
our new reality on this side of sorrow.
—Chris Pepple ©2025
When the Bell Rings
When the Bell Rings
I open my eyes and see
the greed of the self-proclaimed
righteous ones devouring
our children as if each nation
that becomes their prey then
provides a course for
the meal of those
praying to their god
over the feast for the
self-ordained conquerors
of the diversity of the world
And I close my eyes and see
the path to peace hauntingly
call to us through the voices
of the hunted ones
and through the memories
of the ghosts of the
past resisters who all wait
to see if we will step
onto the path they hoped for
and they forged or who
will remain frozen in silence
And the bell rings
and calls some to the meal
and some to prayer
and some to awaken and
rise up in this sacred moment
and know that the endings for some
are the beginnings for others
and the desire to overpower
can be answered by
the will to overcome
and the bell rings for you
—Chris Pepple © 2026
The March of Love and Hope
ON COURAGE AND LOVE—
MAGGIE’S VOICE
Every Sunday the same group of women gathers in a small apartment on the ground floor of the complex to worship. Every Sunday they sing the same hymns. Every Sunday they whisper the same prayer:
God feed our children—for they are hungry
God keep them safe—these times are rough
God give us strength on this journey—for we are tired
God keep us safe—these times are rough.
The worship service is a chance for these women to rest from the struggles of the week—a chance for them to be touched by a moment of peace.
The worship service is especially important for Maggie. Ever since she organized this women’s group, she has been under constant pressure. She’s recognized as “the woman who started all of this trouble.” Last week she had a rock thrown through her window. The week before that her youngest child had a bottle thrown at him on his way home from school. But Maggie is determined not to give up her fight.
Today Maggie kneels by the board that the women use as an altar. Her mind envisions what this world could be like. She imagines a time when no more children would die in the streets. She imagines a time when all people are treated with reverent respect. She ponders on what the world would be like if every day wasn’t a struggle for survival for so many people. But her mind is brought back to the realities of the moment by a call from one of the women.
“Maggie, a newspaper reporter is here. Says he wants to do a story on you and that march you have planned on Sunday. He says you are really gonna stir up things if you really march all of the neighborhood kids into those churches on the north side of town. He wants to be the first to interview you and print your story. “
Maggie turned and answered them, “The time has come for a new world to be created. It’s time for all that we see around us to fall to the ground. And out of its remains our new world will bloom. And this new world will hold us all in a cradle of peace and love and wholeness.
But for now, I am worried. Should I tell God that I am tired of this journey that I began? Should I call to the angels and tell them that I am turning away from our plans?”
Maggie was interrupted by a voice from outside. “Momma, look at me—I can do a cartwheel.” And all of the children giggled.
Maggie gazed out the window and continued to speak. “These children just spoke to the future, not to me. They spoke to the world asking for a chance for laughter every day. They laughed for the new world to come. They laughed for me because the time has come for my laughter to be silenced.”
She said this knowing the struggle that was to come.
The reporter questioned her: “Who are you really? I have heard that you’re a strong woman and that you’re going to bring about big changes in this town.”
Maggie turned to face him and said, “What else can I say while I’m still around? Wish I could tell the whole world what I think, but the world wouldn’t listen. It closes its ears to the music—only hears its own humming as it keeps itself in motion. Wish the world could hear the song that I hear.” And Maggie walked outside to play with the children.
Neither the reporter nor the other women present truly understood what had just taken place until a week later when they were cleaning out Maggie’s apartment. Maggie had been killed by a stray bullet fired into the crowd during her march.
One of the women found Maggie’s journal opened beside her bed. It read: “I knew things were changing when that reporter came by. I knew that when more people began to hear my voice, then more people would want to silence my voice. But I had a choice, and I decided to speak for the laughter of the children. I decided to call out to those who never watched as the laughter ended.
I decided to walk in the light of love, hoping to make a difference in this world. This journey is worth the struggle to me.”
Underneath this Maggie had written:
“1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” There’s still hope and love…
When You Take Away Hope
When you take away hope and opportunity for families to succeed, you weaken families, communities, and our nation as a whole. It breaks my heart that this nation passed a bill that will significantly cut Medicaid…a program that literally saved my life at one point. In Tennessee, it’s called Tenncare. When my husband left when the kids were younger, the health insurance was in his name. The court ordered him to continue to cover the kids, but he quit his job so he wouldn’t have to. I had to scramble to find a full-time job so I could cover healthcare for the three of us. I did, but…a few years down the road, my kids and my aging parents with dementia needed me. I took several part-time jobs so I could have a more flexible schedule, working 50 hours a week, but with the flexibility to schedule around appointments.
We were without healthcare until I enrolled in Tenncare. I was working three part-time jobs and was a primary caregiver for my children and a parent with Alzheimer’s. I wasn’t lazy (as the label seems easy to toss around by those wanting to end the program)…I wasn’t a “deadbeat” (word I hear a lot when I listen to the wealthy talking about why we should end certain programs)…I was “pulling myself up by my own boot straps” (another phrase often carelessly tossed at people in need) and was “being financially independent.” I paid taxes, paid my bills, and took care of my family while my ex-husband fought child support and quit jobs rather than pay it. Tenncare saved us…we got medical care when I needed to be present for my family. I’m not still on it. I was only on it for about three years until I bought my own insurance through the Affordable Care Act and then was able to go back to work full-time rather than work multiple part-time jobs.
What did I do with my life on Tenncare:
*worked 50 hours a week on three part-time jobs,
*raised my two kids as a single mom,
*took care of my aging parents…both eventually with Alzheimer’s.
What do my friends who rely on Medicaid for their families do:
*work,
*raise children with disabilities or face their own disabilities,
*take care of aging parents (which can run $200-800 dollars a day every day depending on their diagnosis).
Those who voted for this bill want to use language that implies Medicaid is a handout for people who don’t deserve it. Look at the truth of what Medicaid does. It saves lives…it builds stronger families…it offers hope in challenging times. So sad that we as a nation will turn our backs on those in need.
Solace in Nature
“I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” –Anne Frank
Today, I shared the path with deer pausing to study me as I studied them…I met the sun at the end of the path closing the day with one more glimmering moment of hopeful brilliance… I found remnants of winter’s dance across the land and found the determination of spring rising through the thawing soil…and I breathed deeply and carried the memories with me to remind me of the solace there until I could return…
American Dream 2025
I keep seeing so much about politics and projects planned for our nation after the next election. People are grasping for power as if power will bring them joy or peace. Power over people only leads to despair and an emptiness that creates a craving for even more power because what was sought after doesn’t lead to fulfillment of any type. Power with people is what brings a stronger nation full of potential and hope. Power with people opens doors for all people to bring their creativity and ideas to the table. This leads to new innovations for problems we all face. This leads to beauty filling art galleries and music halls. This leads to medical research that brings hope to those who suffer. This leads to hope for all people.
Here’s a dream for America in 2025:
I have a hope that the sayings expressed in the beatitudes are breathed into life here on earth in this nation. May the poor in spirit, those who mourn, and those who are meek find blessings here in this nation. May we all be bearers of hope and comfort and respect. May those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and those who are merciful and pure in heart see the fruits of their labor growing and strengthening this nation. May the peacemakers know their efforts have truly brought peace to a divided land. May those who are persecuted find healing as they continue their good works.
I have a hope that the vision of our founders comes true. I hope that the dreams of the Anglicans, Baptists, Catholics, Congregationalists, German Pietists, Lutherans, Methodists, Jews, Mennonites, Moravians, and Quakers come true as they worked to build a nation free from religious rule. I hope the example of those who walked this land together knowing that they could each practice their religious beliefs and that they would not be forced to follow the beliefs of others inspire us to seek the wisdom they saw in embracing religious diversity and allowing others to seek God or their own spiritual path as they journey in life.
I have a hope that we will truly define our nation by the freedom we grant to all people. We will not hoard freedom in our own circles as if it is a limited commodity. We will see that freeing all people only strengthens our nation because we are showing the world what true strength and power look like. It looks like people standing together and working together without pulling others down. It looks like a place where all people are safe and can embrace their own identities and live and work and play without fear of being judged. A free nation is a healthy nation. A land of freedom means hope for all people. A land of freedom means we can work together to create a strong economy and healthcare system for all people to then thrive rather than just fight to survive. Let freedom ring throughout all the land.
I have a hope that we will be a wise nation. I hope that we will wisely examine our own prejudices so we can address what holds us back from following the ideals of freedom and justice and mercy. I hope that we will seek answers to the healthcare crisis in our nation and to the financial failures moving through our land. I hope that we will listen to the voices at the table and be willing to learn from each other. No one has all the answers. Together, though, we can find a path forward that will offer hope and stability and safety and beauty to our land…to all people in our land. We will be life-long learners who embrace exploring scientific studies and fund research and honestly explore history seeking accuracy and finding the stories that have been buried behind myths and wishful thinking.
I have a hope that we will be willing to address the mental health crisis in our nation. We have become a land where violence and abuse and despair flow from our communities because we lack resources to help people find answers and find healing.
I have a hope that we will care for the weakest in our land…that we will build communities that don’t take away from the strength of others but that do care for those people whose disabilities limit how they can care for themselves. I hope we care for those in need of medical resources. I hope we care for those who are lonely or scared or facing dementia and Alzheimer’s.
I have a hope that we will learn to care for this beautiful land we call home so the land can thrive as much as we can. I have a hope that we will keep our waters clean and our air pure. I have a hope that our parks will thrive and our natural lands be nurtured. I have a hope that our animals in this land will be treated with respect and cared for as part of our communities. We will fund our shelters and care for those pets who need to be re-homed. I have a hope that we are never the reason for the extinction of any species.
I have a hope that love wins and that everyone sees the beauty in that statement.
I have a hope that we work with other nations to bring global stability without the need for war. I have a hope that we help stop the need for killing so we can claim a power that is only fleeting anyway. I have a hope that we will help bring freedom and stability to other nations so that our world can be a place where hate and hurting stops, where peace and hope flow, and where all people of all identities and all genders and all races and all nationalities and all ages and all sizes and all levels of abilities are respected and granted access to resources needed to live out their days safely and surrounded by love.
What I know is possible…we can end gun violence. We can end domestic violence. We can work through and end prejudices. We can bring healing to those struggling physically and emotionally and mentally. We can stand together to build safer communities where racism is no longer real. We can offer equal rights to the entire LGBTQ+ community. We can create safe communities, including schools and hospitals and offices, for all transgender people. We can be stronger together.
Keep the hope alive in 2025.
Every Now and Then
Every Now and Then
Every now and then I look ahead
and smile with joy at the hopes I see
where everyone in the land is living free
and hate is so faint that its power
has all but been erased
and I look at the present
and know that we are setting the pace
for equality to be reality
and for love to win
and I look back and see the faces
of those who cleared the path
for our today
where progress is real
and hope is embraced
and courage is clearly carrying us,
and I pause and say thank you
to Harvey Milk for the courage
to run and to serve and
to speak louder than those
wanting his voice to fade
and I see the steps of
Marsha Johnson and Sylvia Rivera
leading to the STAR house
and the hope that lived there
and I hear the voice of Barbara Gittings
who didn’t back down from the fight
to declare the worthiness of herself
and all whom she walked with
on the journey to demand
visibility and respect
and I read the words of Audre Lorde
who confronted injustices and disrespect
and was targeted for her race, her gender,
her class, and her sexuality
yet she persisted and wrote
to leave us all a legacy of
knowing better and doing better
and naming the wrong and claiming the hope
and I think of the teachings of Sue Sanders
and the strength of Lady Phyll
and know that we can
embrace their courage
and amplify their voices
and pick up the torch passed to us
so that what they began
will continue and
the path of love and hope
will change our tomorrows
and bring about the dreams
those before us could envision…
for the courage
for the hope
for the love
we honor the past
we stand strong today
and we hope for tomorrow
—Chris Pepple © 2023
Darkness and Light
I am reminded by multiple friends this week that we are in a season of reflection on our move from light to darkness, fear to hope, grief to renewal.
Several acquaintances celebrated Purim this weekend, reminding me of the story of people moving from fear of annihilation to a moment of salvation. The story of Esther reminds us that an entire group of people were targeted for bullying and death, yet courage and faith brought another outcome.
My Christian friends are walking through Holy Week this week. They will face the story of the death of Jesus, the darkness of the tomb, and the hope of light and resurrection on the other side.
My friends who walk closely with nature are seeing the natural world awaken from the darkness and the cold of winter, finding a renewal through the light of spring and the warmth it will bring.
A young student studying Taoism reminded me that spring helps us to find a balance in life…a balance between light and darkness, cold and heat, stagnancy and movement so that we can find our own place of renewal and strength.
My friends and loved ones in the LGBTQ+ community are searching to find the light in these dark times…looking for hope against all of the laws that are trying to erase their identity. My transgender friends and loved ones face bullying and hate and uncertainty daily on so many levels, often coming from people they thought they could trust…their church friends, their neighbors, their teachers, their elected leaders.
Sometimes we find ourselves in darkness…in times of grief…in times of pain…in times of having a broken heart. We find ourselves torn away from the known and walking through uncertainty. We often can’t return to what we originally saw as light. We can’t go back to the same journey we were on. We are different. The times are different. But hope means there’s a new path waiting for us, a path where we will find love and peace and be able to shine that love and peace for others still searching.
Easter Litanies for Transgender Day of Visibility
On March 31, 2024, many Christians will celebrate both Easter and Transgender Day of Visibility. Both days are equally important to many of us, especially in a year when so many laws are being targeting the rights of transgender people and when bullying is becoming the norm in schools across the nation. If you worship in an affirming church, here are a few verses you can add to your favorite Easter hymns or some litanies you can use in your congregations. Credit for all writing goes to Chris Pepple, but these may be used without requesting permission.
Palm Sunday Litany
“Hosanna, loud hosanna!”
all the people called
as they stood together in joy
welcoming their friend, their teacher,
their Shepherd, their Way.
We were the ones who called
out to be saved
before we turned on others
and asked for their arrest.
We were the ones waving palms
before we began to wave fists
at any we deemed unworthy
of entering our places of worship.
Save us from our paths
that have led us away from
the words of welcome,
the words that cheered
the one who taught us to love.
Save us from our laws
that lead us to shout
“Segregate and crucify the ones
we consider different!”
Save us from our own
unwillingness to remember
the community Jesus built
when he looked past the mores
of the religion of his day and
instead looked into the eyes
of the people who had forgotten
they were loved.
Let us once again stand together
in this nation and in this world
and call out in celebration
as we embrace the love
that came into our midst
so long ago…
to embrace the person who taught love
and offered hope and spread joy
and flipped tables and fed the people
and healed the hurting.
Let us stop the cries to crucify
and the cries to divide.
Let us stop the fear of otherness
and see that we are
better together.
Let us learn from history
and see that our story
can end with beauty
and hope and love
leading the way.
And the children sang
their praises and said,
“Let hope come today!
Hosanna to the One
who taught us that
loves leads the way!”
***
Easter Litany
When Jesus rises
God also calls our names
and boldly proclaims
“Rise up!”
Rise above the lies
that try to strip you of
your dignity…
Rise above the hate
that tries to bind you to
their splintered crosses…
Rise above the fear
that tries to toss you
in their graves…
You are an Easter people
loved beyond understanding,
offered hope beyond worldly limits,
given community to build tables
for all to join…shared tables
that join us in conversations
that unite rather than divide,
that bring understanding
rather than a litany of someone’s
self-defined transgressions,
that bring healing to the brokenness
and love to the hurting
and peace to all in the land…
May we remember to echo
the Easter words of hope,
“Rise up! You are seen!
You are loved! You are worthy!
You belong!”
**
Rise Up
Rise up, rise up!
Because Jesus is risen,
you, too can, rise up!
Because Jesus loved,
we can love,
because Jesus overcame
the fear, the hatred
and the lies
that entombed him,
because he rose
from the dark room
they banished him to,
we, too, can overcome and rise up.
Rise up, rise up!
Because Jesus is risen,
you, too can, rise up!
Jesus rolled away the stone
meant to forever keep him
from the people he loved,
from the community of believers,
and he has given us his Spirit
to roll away all barriers
that divide us and try to keep us
from God’s people and God’s table.
Rise up, rise up!
Because Jesus is risen,
you, too can, rise up!
Rise up! Rise from the grief and sorrow
of the events meant to destroy us.
Rise up! Rise from the barriers meant
to separate us from the glory of Easter morning!
Rise up! Hear the community of believers
call your name as they run
to the garden to find you!
Rise up! This victory is yours to embrace!
Rise up! You are loved, you are worthy, and
you have a seat at the table Easter morning
and forevermore.
Amen.
**
Love Lives
I love so many people I meet along my way
I know that hope is living, whatever foes may say.
I see the hands of mercy, I see new hope again,
and just when all seems lost in life, I see love win.
Love lives, love lives, love lives today!
Hope walks with us and carries us along life’s broken way.
Love lives, love lives, equality is near!
You ask me how I know love lives—I see it in us here!
**
( for Christ the Lord is Risen Today)
All our hope is rising today
Al-le-lu-ia
Reconciling voices all can say
Al-le-lu-ia
Transgender people, we do see
Al-le-lu-ia
Standing together with love for thee
Al-le-lu-ia
***
(for Easter people, raise your voices)
Easter people, raise your voices
words of love worldwide should ring
God has shown us loving choices
reconciling words, let us sing
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Transgender ones, I hear your name!
**
(for The Strife is O’er, the Battle Done)
Strife is still with us, the battle isn’t done
Equality for all isn’t yet won
But the work of hope has surely begun…
The hands of bullies have done their worst
put the power of love has dispersed,
let shouts of hope and peace outburst
**
Transgender Day of Visibilty
Today let’s all rise up and
celebrate visibility for the ones braver than those
who deny you,
stronger than the ones
who want you to hide,
more loving than the ones who
seek their own self-interests…
I see you
I love you
I stand with you
I march for you and with you
because you are undeniably real,
you are co-creators of hope
and designers of joy
and light bearers in this world
as you carve the path for your
own belonging through the rock walls designed to deny you your rights,
but you go forward
with strength and with love
and I see you.
—Chris Pepple @2022
**
To be read by a transgender person or a group of transgender people:
This We Say
Yesterday, today, tomorrow…
we have been among you
we are with you now
we will always walk this Earth…
we are the engineers and architects
helping to build your world,
the artists adding beauty…
the teachers leading a new generation…
the visionaries creating
what tomorrow will need…
we are beloved children
thankful for all fighting for change…
we are the strong ones
finding a way forward through pain…
we are the financial wizards on Wall Street
and leading performers lighting up the screen…
we excel in our field,
earn our way into the boardroom
and medicine and law,
dance every Pride,
write our stories,
compose new operas
and the latest rap hit
and know how to rock the night away…
we design the latest fashions
and love
and cry
and experience joy
and feel the sting of your words
and love anyway…
This we say…
we are transgender
and we are here to stay…
—Chris Pepple ©2023
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