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First Weekend Out

Sometimes I have a lot of noise in my life. I have a long to-do list that grows longer when people try to make helpful suggestions on what to do to “improve” my life…join more online or in-person communities, log more reading, find a new diet, join their work-out group, change my body, change my routines. Don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with any of these suggestions. I do watch what I eat because of health conditions. I do read quite a lot. I walk at least a minimum of a mile daily and stretch morning and night. I teach and edit and write because I love it.

The noise comes, though, when I feel pressured to change to be someone else…to compete with someone…to binge watch a show just because everyone else is talking about it…to log how many books I read last month. At my age, I realized that I need to do things because they are right for me and do them when they are right for me.

I don’t want to go through life competing with anyone. I also don’t want to carry unnecessary guilt because I failed to reach a reading goal or didn’t make it to a scheduled work-out. I like accountability in life, but there’s a loving way to wish the best for me and there’s a noisy way to make me feel as if I need to completely change who I am in order to keep up with society’s latest trends.

Here’a a very short story (just for fun) to help us remember that we can walk away from the noise.

First Weekend Out

By Chris Pepple

We sat in the restaurant in Eureka Springs celebrating the first dinner of this year’s “First Weekend Out.” For the past five years, my friend group had driven into the Arkansas mountains on the first full weekend of the year. Everyone came without children, dates, or spouses—just the six of us chatting about our holidays and resetting ourselves for the new year ahead. Last year, the snow kept us indoors most of the weekend. This year’s warm spell let us take our talks out of our rooms and walk to a nearby restaurant to share chicken pesto flatbread pizzas and vegan wraps with avocados and artichokes.

“Look at this,” Elizabeth smiled, holding her phone up. “Let’s all download this app and keep up with our exercise goals together. Maybe challenge each other and log our weight loss. I need to fit into my size eight jeans again this year.”

“Size eight?” Robin asked with a smirk on her face. “I’ll challenge you to a size six. Send me the link to that. I’m in.”

I don’t guess I’ll mention that I’m a size ten, I thought to myself as I opened the link she sent. And I’m only that because of being so sick in October. Otherwise, I’d still be sitting in this chair in my size twelve pants. I looked over at Emily. She pretended not be bothered, but I could tell she would rather be anywhere else. As beautiful as I knew she was, I also knew she was self-conscious about talking about weight. “Hey,” I blurted out, hoping to change the subject, “it’s supposed to be nice tomorrow. Let’s hike after lunch.”

Emily and I pulled up our trail apps to decide which one to take. While we were chatting, Sandra interrupted. “Sarah, did you finish your online profile? You have to meet someone so you can tell us who you’re almost engaged to next year.” I could feel my cheeks redden. “I still think Michael was a great fit for you.”

“Michael was a great fit for himself,” I replied. “Very self-absorbed. Let’s hike the Lake Leatherwood trail if it’s in good shape. I’ll ask at the desk before we call it a night.” That suggestion thankfully succeeded in changing the conversation away from my dating prospects.

Before the last set of music had been played by the band, Jenn had passed out journals so we could set our resolutions for the year. She had printed off each of our goals from last year so we could assess how we did in meeting them. We could score ourselves by the percentage of each goal achieved. If I hated math and percentages in high school, I certainly hated it here in a restaurant with music and friends. What percentage of people would think this is fun? I wondered as I stared at my printout and the journal I was supposed to fill as I rated myself.

When my phone vibrated, I grabbed it and announced I had to take a call. I picked up my journal and walked away, heading outside as the call went to voicemail. I considered going to the room and texting that I didn’t feel well, but the night sky seemed to be calling me.

As I made my way down the path, I spotted a roaring fire in the fire pit just off the walkway. I could hear people chatting and stopped to enjoy the sound of their voices mixed with occasional laughter. I didn’t realize someone had walked up behind me.

“You should join them,” the deep voice behind me said as I jumped a bit. “Sorry—didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Justin. I was just bringing more wood for the fire. It’s a great community space. There are some extra seats if you want to hang out.”

“Well, I’m with friends at the restaurant. I probably should get back,” I said as I glanced back at the building I had left.

“The night’s too nice to go back in there. The weather’s going to be horrible next week. Enjoy the outdoors and the stars while you can.”

I followed him over and found a seat on a bench, sharing it with one other person. Everyone around the fire introduced themselves, and we all chatted about where we were from. The woman in a beautifully knitted lavender sweater who shared the bench with me added, “We were just talking about the books we’ve read lately—mostly romance novels.”

“So, what are your reading goals for the year?” I asked, thinking I would have something to write in my resolutions journal if I came up with a goal for myself.

“Oh, I don’t set any reading goals,” the woman across from us added as she leaned a bit closer to the fire. “I just read for fun.”

“Me, too,” the woman in the lavender sweater added.

The group started laughing about some of the books they read and the trips they were on when they read them. They seemed at peace with the evening and with themselves, even though I could tell their lives were far from perfect.

“You haven’t said anything lately,” the woman on my bench said. “Are we keeping you from writing?” she asked as she pointed to my notebook.

I glanced at last year’s resolutions on top and realized I didn’t really want any of those goals to come true. I wasn’t looking for marriage or a perfect body size or a promotion at work. I wanted this—time around fires, books to read, and time to see the stars. No lists. No percentages to remind me I failed at some things. “Oh, no. I just brought this out to help you keep the fire going,” I said as I tossed it in the middle of the flames and leaned back and looked up at the stars and smiled for the first time in a long while.

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Applause for Public Libraries

If you are following my podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud (Look to See Me by Chris Pepple), you can find some of the transcripts of my episodes here.

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Applause for Libraries

Hi, Listeners! I hope you are all having a wonderful week this week. Welcome back to Look to See Me, a podcast that invites you to look closer at the lives of people around you and to take time to hear their stories. I’m Chris Pepple and today I’m going to talk about the wonderful programs offered by our public libraries.

Let’s be honest—a lot of us take libraries for granted. I know I used to. I thought of libraries as the places that held me captive for hours in high school when I had to write term papers. I remember the dreaded card catalogs that I had to dig through to find my much-needed book locations and the microfiche readers that held the microscopic copies of the journals my teachers required me to use as resources. The libraries were eerily silent and often darker than I would prefer. Even though I was an avid reader, I didn’t necessarily enjoy libraries.

Now, though, I could spend hours in a library. I love the educational programs, the magazine reading rooms and the movies mine has for rent for one dollar. I even worked at a library for a short time—one of my favorite odd jobs. There’s a lot going on every day at a library that many people don’t stop to think about.

First—computer access. Libraries often provide a critical technology link for people who may not have a computer in their homes or for people who need to stop in on a break and print resumes or check email.

Libraries also provide educational programs for children and adults, and these programs are often free. Story times for kids and classes for adults can enrich any community. At my local library, adults can attend programs that teach them to knit, offer advice for writers, or let participants meet a master gardener and ask questions about the next planting season. Lecturers come who give advice about taxes or Social Security or making wills to families who don’t know how or where to get started.

The local artists and musicians in our community also join in on the fun at the library. Our symphony has brought musicians to our library to play for families and talk about their instruments. Theater groups have performed skits in the open spaces. Writers give readings, and even magicians perform a few magic tricks for the audiences who take a break from their busy schedules to have a little fun at the library.

In today’s podcast, I want to highlight two libraries that are doing an exceptional job of reaching out to others and using their resources to meet the needs of their communities.

First, let’s look at Chicago’s public library system and specifically their Laundromat Story Time. I found this good-news story in a U.S. News articlewritten by Joseph Williams in December 2018. The article begins by reminding us all of the importance of reading to young children. Many educators have concluded that future academic success can begin with simple bedtime stories and books shared by family members.

But not every home has books that are readily available to children. And even if they have books, not every parent has a lot of extra time to read. There’s a lot of daily chores involved in running a household and raising children. But the Chicago library system created a program to bring books to some children while the parents are handling one very time-consuming chore: getting the laundry done.

Chicago’s low-income neighborhoods have about 14 laundromats that fill up daily with parents needing to keep younger kids occupied while getting the family clothes clean. Chicago librarians saw a golden opportunity to read to these children. The librarians bring in colorful mats for the kids to sit on and bring with them plenty of books and even musical instruments to add to the fun. The kids are read to. They then get to join in the singing and games. Sometimes librarians bring in puppets to add to the experience.

Parents are learning, too. They are getting a glimpse of ways to engage their children and give their brains the boost they need for future learning. Not all parents know how to help their kids develop strong literacy skills. Families and entire communities are benefitting from the library’s willingness to reach the people where they are and to assess the needs of all community members.

Great job, Chicago libraries! Hopefully other cities will reach out to them and get information from the model they have created to make this program successful.

The next city I’m going to talk about is Miami. The Miami-Dade Public Library System has developed an upcycling program to meet the needs of two groups of people in their communities. I discovered this inspiring story from an article written by Ellen Bookfor Public Libraries Online.

Their program is called “Helping Hands: Upcycling with Dual Purposes” and is an arts and crafts program that meets the needs of two communities. The library wanted to reach out to both older adults and to the homeless in their area. This program reaches both groups at the same time. Older adults gather at the library to enjoy social time together. This gathering time helps many of them break the monotony of their days and helps them break the cycle of loneliness that touches many of their lives.

While they are at the library, these senior adults are tackling the problem of what to do with our overabundance of plastic bags while also helping the homeless population. The bags are turned into a type of string and woven into mats that can be given to the anyone living without a home. The disposable bags have been kept out of landfills and instead have given people comfort. It takes approximately 198 bags to make one adult-sized mat.

The Miami-Dade Public Library System and the Chicago Public Libraries are examples of organizations that think creatively in order to bring about positive changes for their communities. They are still serving the students who need to come in and do research for papers and readers can still come in just to check out books for the weekend. But these librarians are also looking to serve different populations and meet different needs—touch the lives of people who may not even walk into their libraries.

This is what I’m talking about when I use the words “Look to See Me.” These two library systems looked to see the people in their communities. Chicago librarians saw the needs of young children in low-income families. They knew these kids deserved to be read to as much as the kids who could walk through their doors. And they saw the needs of these busy parents who were doing the best they could with the resources they had—parents who were taking care of their families and doing the necessary work of tasks such as laundry.

Miami-Dade librarians looked and saw the needs of their older patrons who wanted time to feel useful and give their gifts back to the community. They also needed time to sit with their peers and just chat about life and their memories and share hope for the coming days. These librarians also saw the need to keep tens of thousands of plastic bags out of the landfills and saw the need of the homeless community members who could use a sleeping mat to provide a little comfort in the midst of their struggles.

Your challenge this week: visit your closest public library. Look at their programs brochures and see what all they have to offer. Find ways you can support the community programs they have designed to reach out to others in your town. Check out a good book or a movie while you are there. It’s a free way to try out new authors or reconnect with one of your favorites.

Thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed this episode of my Look to See Me podcast and will return for the next episode.