Are you ever uncomfortable in a room when everyone stops talking and then there is silence? Do you know people who chatter just to keep a room from being quiet? There is the awkward type of silence when people just don’t know what to say to each other, maybe because of the situation or the timing. There is also the angry silence when people are too mad for words just then.

Silence doesn’t have to be a negative, however. When I was studying at Candler, I attended a silent retreat with several of my classmates. I was overloaded with class work and my work schedule at the time, so silence sounded wonderful. We were brought together and given the schedule of meals and worship times. We received our room assignments for the night and told how the weekend was to be structured, and then we were sent off with our thoughts. At first the silence was refreshing. My brain had time to slow down (and so did my body). Mealtimes became strained, however. I had never eaten with a group in total silence before. We all found ourselves staring awkwardly at our plates, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. By the second meal, however, we learned to enjoy one another’s company without needing words; smiles and gestures were enough. That weekend taught me to take time to collect my thoughts, listen during reflective time rather than try to talk through it, and think about my journey and the journeys of my peers. 

Here are a few things I took with me from that weekend that you can try for yourself and with your children:

1. Try a silent walk. Talk about the route before you leave and agree to stay together if your children are young. Then just walk. Listen to the noises around you. Notice things you may have overlooked before. Enjoy the company without needing the words. Once you return you can talk about what you saw or heard, but not until you get back to your starting point. See if people saw or heard something fun or unique. 

2. Agree to a half hour time once a week (or try an hour once a month) when no noise will be allowed in the house (unless there is an emergency, of course). If you have really young children, try this once they are asleep or while they are napping. No TV, radio, games, cell phones. Turn the ringer off of your home phone. No talking among yourselves. Read in the same room, flip through photo albums, play checkers, organize or sort art projects together, but no talking. 

3. Imagination time: read some fun poems or short stories to your kindergarten or elementary-aged children. Immediately after the reading, tell them you are going to have an “imagination time.” Offer a few suggestions of imagery or places in the book or poem that they can think about.  For an agreed upon time (ten or fifteen minutes, depending upon the age of the child), let everyone sit on a mat or lie on their backs or prop up on their elbows and just imagine. At the end of the time, the children can doodle or color or draw to show some the things they imagined. It’s a lot of fun for all involved!